Halloween Hit List
I’ve always been a sucker for Halloween. Getting dressed up, getting candy, getting drunk, kissing strangers, getting scared; kissing strangers, getting drunk... It’s my kind of holiday. I’ve been working on my costume for several weeks now-and it’s really something special. I won’t spoil the surprise, but trust me when I say you’ll know who I am. AWE-INSPIRING! And don’t worry about finding little old me. You won’t have to look far. I will be at any one of these spooktacular events!
Seven deadly sins
Oh this party is perfect for those self-hating religious types! A seven deadly sins party at chic Valanni (1229 Spruce St.)! Are you lustful, gluttonous, or greedy? Have people described you as being prideful or envious? How about sloth or wrath like? You are a fat-face liar if you answered NO to any of these questions! So admit which sin you surrender to, and come out to join the devilish duo of Cyoni Dharlin and Joe Harris for one unforgettable costume party. Cash prizes, in house and Charlie Salon giveaways for audacious costumes.
Halloween passport
One party not enough for you, you gluttonous little pig? The thrifty trick-or-treater needs the 2008 Halloween Passport: Four bars, four parties, open bar and no cover on Halloween night at Loie (128 S. 19th St.), NoChe (1901 Chestnut St.), Drinker’s Pub (124 Market St.) and Bar Noir (112 S. 18th St.). Simply register online for a free open bar from 8:45 - 10 p.m. at all four locations. Get ripped bitches! www.phillybars215.com.
ASIAC Halloween fundraiser
Get out your fabulous costume and join all your pals from QPA and lovegam.com for a Halloween pre-party at the William Way Center (1315 Spruce St.) 8 to 10 p.m. Come as who you want to be, not as who you are! I’m going to be Ernest Borgnine from THE BLACK HOLE! Prizes will be given for the best costumes! There will also be wine/beer and appetizers. $20 for general admission; $10 for students with ID.
www.asiac.org.
Moran’s morgue
Pure (1221 St. James St.) is one freaking scary place to begin with. First of all you can smoke your brains out in the joint-it seems to operate in a nether-world when it comes to laws. Check out the restrooms if you don’t believe me there, but, I love the place. Love it! I’ve fallen down the steps there a million times! So you can bet you will catch my gay-ass (It will be me in the Strawberry Shortcake costume) on the dance floor for uber-hot DJ Tony Moran! And it is a late late night too! Party goes from 9 p.m. - 8 a.m.! Holy Hannah!
www.purephilly.com.
Elvira’s Halloween
Located in the legendary Bellevue Building, XIX (200 S. Broad St.) will celebrate Halloween with Elvira Presents: A Haunted Halloween Bash featuring Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Remember Elvira? That vampire chick with the big taa-taas? She’s a freaking hoot! This glam-glam costume party will take place in the Grand Ballroom, and admission is available for $30 per person; VIP passes are available for $75 per person! Or suck off the bouncer and sneak into the VIP area like I do! The Haunted Halloween Bash will include live entertainment from DJ’s Adam Freemer, Carl Michaels (PhillyGayCalendar’s DJ of the Year 2007 and a fabulous kisser.), Donato and Larry T; midnight appearance by super-chest Elvira; costume contests, including an Elvira look-alike award handed out by the Mistress of the Dark herself; and dancing all night long. That’s going to be something!
Halloween at the Dive
Philly’s most economical option, the Dive Bar [947 E. Passyunk Ave.) comes to the Halloween rescue of all of us feeling the current financial pinch. Come Join DJ Klembott on Halloween for a night full of costumes, drinks, and dancing! Its super cheap, super fab and you will definitely get laid. I always get laid at the Dive. It’s like mandatory. Or the super-strong cheap ass drinks. Yeah... probably the super-strong cheap ass drinks....
Madonna Michael Prince Halloween ho-down
Nothing scares my ass more then current pictures of Michael Jackson! Have you seen that bitch? Looks like his plastic surgery work was done by the guy I had install my shower. It’s BAD! (Get it?) So, if your one of those skinny-jeans wearing kind of bisexual boys and girls, or straight kind that love them, then you’ll be shaking your booty at the Barbary(951 Frankford Ave.) for the incredibly awesome Madonna Michael Prince party! Me and my 7 gal pals are coming as "Madonna Thru the Years..." I’m going to be here TRUE BLUE phase....
A Rocky Horror Halloween
How retro! It’s an old time Rocky Horror party with the rice, paper and toast, and lots of sexually confused kids dressed in other genders clothing! Who’s dropping acid? I’m in! The movie plays on the movie screen all night, so you can wander into Liquid 891 (891 Eisenhower Blvd., Harrisburg, Pa.) and join the fun whenever you damn well want! 1/2 price the $4 cover for anyone dressed in the Rocky Horror stuff. www.liquid891.com
Heaven and hell!
Stir (1705 Chancellor St.) that ultra chic Rittenhouse gay bar is transformed into a Dante-esque version of heaven and hell. Will you be joining bartenders Pusskins and Stacey Vey in the heaven part, or gargoyle-like DJ Zathan in the hell part? Pray for your soul! www.stirphilly.com.
Haunted Philadelphia scavenger hunt
Boys and girls of all ages will gather in Washington Square (Sixth and Walnut Streets) for a scary and spooky scavenger hunt that starts at 6:45 p.m. Teams of up to six people will tackle tricky questions about the objects and places discovered. No knowledge of any hunt location is required-you just need a sharp mind and a good pair of shoes. Or bring a smart date and just look pretty! Armed with a flashlight, you’ll visit ghostly buildings and secret cemeteries while learning the stories of the restless souls you’re disturbing! Look, Ben Franklin’s specter! Aghhhhhh . Starring the spirits of 1776 in Independence Hall,, the Hag of Pine Street, the spectral poltergeist of St. Peter’s, a Quaker to make you quake in Washington Square, the burning bride of City Tavern, and various other apparitions, sudden chills, rustlings and knockings.
Henry David ball
So if I had to pick one event on all of Halloween, that I’d demand you go to-- even if just for a few minutes... It’d be this one... the biggest, the best, the most outrageous event on Halloween is always Henri David’s incredible party. Hundreds of crazies get together for this serious costume event, were people really dress up. No crappy costumes, no store bought stuff--this event is the real deal. The ultra posh and swanky Sheraton City Center Hotel (17th and Race Streets) is over run by lunacy! Tickets only cost $25 in costume or $60 for voyeurs!
